Let's drink up the blood of young innocent love

sorrowmadeyou @ 2009-11-04T22:12:00

2009-11-05T05:37:27Z

Entry will not be locked. :O BUT THERE SHALL BE AN LJ CUT BECAUSE I AM QUITE SURE I SHALL RAMBLE. :3

This story of the adventure might be a little fucked up. I'm running on 7 hours of sleep over the course of three days, my rockover is killing me, and instead of writing this I'd rather go take a shower and then pass out on my comfy bed. But really, I figured I'd write this now before I forgot anything ~~which isn't likely. This will most likely be in my memory forever, as it was pretty freaking sweet.~~ Front~~(ish. there were 5 people ahead of me, all friends XD))~~ of the line awesomeness always makes the geek in me happy. :3

After work on monday night Lindsay and I stopped at Taco Bueno for some pre-camp-out deliciousness in the form of meaty greasy cheesy tacos(also known as sex in the form of food if you're from Tulsa, OK) and then stopped at Wallyworld for gas and drinkage/snackage before the loooooooooong drive to Ennis/Darras.

After a 5+hour drive full of me almost falling asleep behind the wheel then getting a kick of energy from getting our asses lost in Ennis, we finally got to Heather's cousin's house. And let me tell you, this neighborhood is the shittiest most poorly lit neighborhood I have ever been in in my entire life. I made Heather get her ass outside so I could find the house since the block numbers were absolutely impossible to fucking see after adding in the fact that I'm almost blind. Baaaawww.

So, the four of us are trying to gtfo Ennis and get to Trees and end up going the wrong direction for a good 30 miles or so. I got excessively pissed off because it wasted a good half tank of gas and I was tired but I got the fuck over it and we FINALLY got to Deep Ellum(whoever the fuck named the district needs to be shot plz).

I'm well known for absolutely abhoring one-way streets. I hate them with every fiber of my being. And Trees was OH SO CONVENIENTLY located on a one-way street in which I accidentally turned the wrong way on and was about to flip a bitch and turn around when low and behold, a super nice police officer bitched at me and was a complete douchebag. I'd like to say I REALLY miss the cute police officers in Japan, at least they were nice. :/ But anyways, we got parked and tried to nap a little which didn't work because Heather and Christine blab and car seats aren't the least bit comfortable.

Lindsay had talked a bit with these people who were parked in a van outside the venue and I was all texting her(cause she was down at the 7-11 with Ash) that I would lol so hard if I knew the people in the van/front of the line. AND GUESS WHAT. I FUCKING DID. XD It was awesome getting to see Tiffany again and I got to meet her fiancee Edy(who spent a lot of his time down the street at a bar drinking and playing pinball). Amy and Jessica were there too. It was pretty fun.

Around 9:30ish in the AM Lindsay and I decided we were fucking hungry(or more like our stomachs were screaming at us to get the fuck off our asses and go to subway and get some eats) so we got subway. Really though? I'm still confused as to why subway opened at fucking 7 AM. Who the fuck wants a sammich for breakfast? Of course, I had a pizza since I don't like sammiches and pizza isn't exactly breakfast food(though it was for the two of us in Tokyo).

We all sat at the front of the line for a while bored out of our minds and trying to nap at varying intervals and Amy decided she was going to go to a laundromat and do some laundry. She invited me to tag along and I went cause walking to a laundromat and watching clothes spin in a dryer is much more entertaining than sitting on a sidewalk looking like a hobo. And it was mega hot(which made all of us mad cause it started off super cold and nice and then the sun was like "HAHAHAHA IMMA FRY U BITCHES, U SO STUPID FOR WEARING BLACK SHIRTS AHAHA. 8Db" You know what Sun? Fuck you). Jessica came with and we ended up walking probably over a mile to this laundromat filled with unhappy looking racist mexicans that pissed Jessica off cause she had to take a piss but the bathroom was locked because only people doing laundry could use it and it OBVIOUSLY was not clear that we were there to do laundry(cause ya know, having a bottle of detergent and a bag of clothes isn't obvious enough to these mexicans who were probably illegals anyways. END RACIST MOMENT KTHX). Anyways, after the clothes were spinning in a mix of soap and water Amy just gets up and runs/waddles across the giant laundromat. Jessica starts to follow then asks me if I have a camera, which I do because my phone is sexy like that so I end up following too. And what did I see? Amy put a quarter in one of those little mechanical horses for kids and hopped on.

After the epicness wore off of my friend reliving her childhood(while simultaneously destroying mine, lol) we finished the laundry and headed back for more hours of looking like hobos curled up in doorways and under makeshift tents in lame and futile attempts to block out the destruction the sun was causing. Funny thing, on the way to and from the laundromat of racism Amy and Jessica were turning Disney songs into things that had to relate to Diru(example, Little Mermaid's "part of your world" became "part of your tour". Sounds lame, but the actual words they changed in the song were pretty freaking epic. If I hadn't been burning alive from the sun and wishing I hadn't been stupid enough to wear not-yet-broken-in converse I would have been laughing so hard I was crying, ngl).

Ash had gotten up and ventured off to the 7-11 for munchies and when she came back, Jessica started laughing. "Pickles? Really?" And yes... Ash had purchased a jar of kosher dill spears(it's what it said on the jar, don't look at me). We were laughing so hard, because really. Who the fuck would think of eating a jar of pickles before a fucking concert?

After many 7-11 bathroom runs, bottles of water, and loud annoying buses echoing off the buildings, it was fina-fucking-lly close to time for doors to open. As we're standing there, a hobo is walking up and down the line. Now, this isn't just any old hobo. this guy was crazy AND drunk. He kept telling the concert-goers he was going to fuck us up so APPARENTLY someone had called the cops. He kinda disappeared down the street and then as we're standing there a cop pulls up and get out of his car and starts to walk towards the hobo(if he was saying anything I don't know what it was, they were far enough down the street that I couldn't hear) and the hobo started walking away from the cop. And as he was walking away.. a second cop car comes out of fucking nowhere real fast and hits the hobo(not hard enough to do damage) and he falls to the ground. Us in the front of the line were seriously standing there watching the scene like "WTF DID THAT HOBO JUST GET RUN OVER BY A COP?!" And the hobo kept going "owww owww" in this annoying loud whiny voice and then some parking staff guy was talking to us laughing saying that the hobo was off to rehab. YAAAAY REHAB. ~~Not.~~

Since Ka, Amy, and Jessica had been to the Houston show the night before, we got filled in on a little bit of the shit going on. First of all, 2 hour fucking wait. Seriously? They should have just waited another hour before opening the doors. :/ Second, No merch. At all. We thought it would be there that night but oooooh no. The people selling merch this tour better put the shit up on the site or Imma be pissed. I could really use some new shirts(and the VIP shirt was lametarded. I have a feeling the shirt design was even more last minute than the tour ticket sales/announcement itself). But yeah, We got over it eventually.

Now, this concert was my good friend Rara's first ever Dir en grey/REAL CONCERT WITH STANDING ROOM ONLY AND A PIT OF AWESOMENESS. I'm still not sure how she liked the standing part since I haven't talked to her since tuesday night when she helped me hobble back to my car but anyways, on with the story. XD

So Tiffany, Ka, Amy and I jump to our general spots from past concerts(in the Kaoru/Toshiya area. ~~Leaders and bassists get us hot, ya know?~~ And then the waiting. NO FUCKING RAIL AT ALL. And oooooh my god. The music/music equipment junkie in me was having a fangasm. Pretty much, the stage was ontop of these badass speakers, so we were against speakers/stage and the bass felt so fucking brilliant. Despite getting sick of seeing red for two hours straight and a little unhappy that my feet were already starting to send angry messages to my brain, I was excited. Stomach churn-y excited. This is the first big, fun thing I've done since my hand surgery back in September and the fact that I was getting to see the guys again after a year was quickly washing away all of the depression that not being able to do much for myself has caused the past month and a half. SO many things running through my mind, especially what songs they would play.

FINALLY 9-ish rolls around and the red curtains of doom were pulled away(much to our happiness in the front) and shortly before the curtains are drawn, Amy says to me "Sa Bir is going to feel fucking amazing." And boy, was she fucking right. The minute Sa Bir started playing I could just feel it. It wasn't really about listening to it and the screaming fantards ~~who later infuriated me by screaming through Kyo's a capella. I thought you learned last year to shut the fuck up but apparently not. Pray I don't elbow you fuckheads in the face next tour~~. The boys came out in their regular fashion even if the stage was ridiculously small and cramped and had a fucking tree in the fucking middle of it. Sad for me, being the huge Toshiya fan that I am~~(the man is fucking gorgeous, I can't help but love him)~~, the tree was blocking most of my view of him. When I say most, I mean the majority of the show I had a quite lovely view of his ass bouncing around the stage in that cute little man-skirt of his that I hear he calls a kilt(but really, I've never seen anyone wear leggings under a kilt. Sorry Totchi, it's a skirt). I ended up being, quite literally, right in front of Kaoru. When I would look up, I basically had a perfect view of his crotch. Not something I wanted to see, really, but whatev. Ka next to me was pleased(She's got such a raging hardon for Kaoru, omg. XD).

I'm not even going to bother trying to remember the setlist, but we were fucking happy that Vinushka was the first song played after Sa Bir. I had been hoping they'd play it this tour and I was definitely not disappointed at all. Full 10 minutes of the song? Oh yes, do want.

While I am perfectly aware of the fact that there is no such thing as personal space at a Dir en grey concert and that getting dry humped is quite common and normal, I'd really like to know why my skinny ass keeps getting abused by the fattest fucking whales that the venue could find. Really, every single year this has happened. Someone small and cute and not a creeper starts out behind me and everything's chill and we're talking and shit and then magically they disappear and are replaced by blob-o-saurus rex. Normally I wouldn't complain. I have nothing against fat people. But really? I'm not too keen on having rolls of fat pressing me against a speaker and practically fucking me from behind, minus the actual act of fucking. Ka laughed at me when I said I couldn't breathe and said "That's because you have a fatty behind you." and I retorted "This always happens! Every year! Why meeee?", to which we both laughed. Well, I laughed to the best of my ability with blob-o-saurus rex still dry humping me from behind even though no one was on stage between the encore and nothing was going on. Honey, when the music stops, you do too kthx.

BACK TO STORY ~~(sorry, I'm easily distracted when I'm sleepy)~~. I was beyond happy they played Inconvenient Ideal and Toguro. All of my fave songs off Uroboros were played(not counting Glass Skin and Dozing green since the Japanese versions were sung and the Uroboros versions are the english fail ones). Happy Rei was happy.

But sadly, I could not move my legs. At all. The only thing keeping me standing was blob-o-saurus rex dry humping me and the speakers that were being used as a makeshift table for easier dry humping access. To be quite honest, I really wasn't sure I was going to be able to make the rest of the show without collapsing right there(good thing I didn't, people would have trampled me to death probably. Dallas fans are so vicious. T__T). But for those who know me, The Final is my song. I connect with that song and it really means a lot to me. And I knew they had to play it, but it was between the show itself and the encore and it still hadn't been played. I was, tbh, scared. I couldn't feel anything from the waist down, I couldn't breathe, and my favourite song hadn't been played yet. I kept telling myself in my head "Come on, you pussy. You can do it! Don't be the little bitch that has to be helped out of the crowd at a Diru show! You gotta hear your song!"

Needless to say when the boys got on stage and the beginning of The Final started up, Amy linked arms with me and gave me the look. The look she always gives me when the song starts. Why? Because it never fails to bring tears to my eyes. I can listen to the studio recording just fine, but live? The emotions that are already so powerful multiply. And I cried. But that wasn't the only reason I cried. Something so beautiful that hadn't happened before at the Dallas shows happened and I was actually proud to be in that crowd. Everyone, and I do mean everyone(minus the lametarded parents sitting in the back. Leave your preshus snowflakes and stop taking up everyone's air. we needed it) was singing along. Perfectly. Normally I wouldn't give a shit, but it was so brilliant. if I hadn't been crying before hand, everyone singing along so loud and proud definitely would have brought tears to my eyes. No people trying to make Kyo's awkward sex sounds. No people screaming member names in hormonal annoying ear piercing voices. Just everyone singing along in unison ~~and actually singing the lyrics right, holy shit that's a first for Dallas~~.

I was a little surprised when Kyo shouted "last song!" I don't recall hearing a single "NO" or "BOOO". Either I was so high from the whole experience or people really didn't do it, but whatever the case it was nice not hearing people bitching(even though more songs would have been lovely).

When the boys were throwing out their shit into the crowd and Toshiya came over in front of me and Ka, I was practically smashed by crazed fans to the point where I was 100% more focused on the worry that my glasses were about to break and be lost because of flailing chubby arms than on the fact that sexy schoolboy Toshiya was in front of me. Most people wouldn't give a shit but I didn't have my spare glasses with me in Dallas and I couldn't afford for my $200 sexy librarian glasses to break. Call me stupid, but I like being able to see and being practically blind without my glasses wouldn't have turned out well on a drive back home.

After that and the boys left the stage, people started clearing out. Usually, good news. Last night? Bad news for me. I couldn't keep myself standing without the support of blob-o-saurus rex behind me. Luckily, Rara was right there. I grinned at her and said "So how was your first dir en grey show?" to which she replied "OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!" and latched onto me in a hug until I mentioned she would have to help me out of the venue because I couldn't feel anything from the waist down and could barely move my legs. Temporary paralysis = SUPER MEGA FUN TIME YAY 8Db We found Heather, her cousin, Christine, Ash, and Lindsay and all headed to our cars, said some final goodbyes and hugs since I probably won't see Heather and Christine again for a while(unless I can manage to spare enough money to hit up Anime Matsuri with my fabulousness), told Rara I'd see her back in Tulsa wednesday, and Ash went to fetch Lindsay and I Maku~~(did I mention I abhor American McDonalds? x__x The fries were so delicious and fresh and orgasmic in Japan but here they're... cold and smooshy and stale)~~ and Lindsay and I headed to Ash's place. Lindsay driving of course.

We ended up going the wrong way on a road in Arlington and called Ash, luckily she got us turned around and to her house, at which I slooooooowly made my way inside, up the stairs and after a clean-up to remove the stench of my own as well as other people's sweat off me and washing my then-greasy hair in the sink(yay short hair rocks), I proceeded to crash on the air matress in clean jeans and a tshirt since I brilliantly forgot to pack some pjs. Curled up with blankie, Haru, and Doko and we all fell asleep a little after midnight. Lindsay and I both woke up around 2 freezing our asses off since the blanket was downstairs in the dryer because I'm ultra mega super allergic to cats and it was coated in cat fur. I kicked Lindsay out of bed and made her go get it and I swear it took us like, 5 seconds to sort the blanket out, divide it evenly between ourselves, and pass back out into lala land.

We ended up not sleeping much and after waking up I proceeded to play paparazzi with Ash's oh-so pretty ragdoll(omg I love ragdolls so much. best kitty breed EVER) and I swear the cat was looking at me like "yeah, I know I'm hot shit... but really, is this necessary?" Kind of one of those o__O wtf r u doin? looks. XD

But we had to go earlyish instead of getting to stay a bit and chill with Ash cause I had work. Why I didn't ask off wednesday as well, I don't know. But once we got back to Tulsa and I got to work I was really regretting it. Work with a rockover sucks so hard. Someone needs to remind me next tour to ask for the day after the show off. XD

But yeah. All in all it was a fucking epic start to November, a fucking amazing show, and I had a great time hanging out with my friends and talking a little with the super nice girls that were behind Ka, Amy, and I at the start of the show.

Also got to cross a few things off my bucket list. XD Especially the "see a drunk hobo get hit by a cop car" one.

Now that I finished rambling, time for some much needed sleeeeeeeep. :3

sorrowmadeyou @ 2009-01-12T12:25:00

2009-01-12T19:03:51Z

LOL. XD I found this thing on deviantart and since I totally don't talk to anyone there anymore I decided to do this here instead, and actually make it an open entry!!!! =OOO XD

1. List facts for 16 different people you want to say but will never tell them out loud.
2. Don't reveal who they are.
3. You can comment but don't answer to guesses. The idea is that no one knows who the facts are indicated to.
4. Tag three (3) people. (I'm not tagging anyone. I'm lazy, if you wanna do it go ahead.)

1. Sometimes I wonder what went wrong. What went through my mind that day. But when I sit and look back on the years we had been an unstoppable team(think KP and RS in Kim Possible, lol), we really weren't that unstoppable. And while I do miss you -god damn I miss you so much that sometimes it hurts just thinking about all of the fun we had- I feel like I'm a much happier person now that we are apart. I would spend all of my time waiting for you, blowing off and ignoring all those I held dear to me in the real world on a slim chance of getting to spend my online time with you. Most of the time I was waiting on nothing. And that one day I guess things just piled up and I lashed out at you. I'm sorry for the things I said, but I'm not sorry for ending things. The two of us are probably much better off without each other.

2. You were probably the one person I hated the most. I would sit and think of ways I could do something to piss you off or hurt you. And now you're my best friend and someone I love with all my heart. it's funny how things change, ne? I don't know how I'd get through life without your little nicknames for me and without you telling me you love me. Even if I don't really say it, you mean the world to me and you have kept me strong and smiling when I really didn't know what else to do. You may think you're nothing special, but you are. You really are.

3. We've known each other for such a short time, but in that short time I feel like we've become pretty close. You always have some funny little story to tell me that makes me laugh so hard that sometimes I end up crying. Back in the day I used to think you were a little snobby, but obviously that view has changed completely. You're one of the sweetest people I know(even if you're as much of a bitch as I am) and when I need a virtual hug you're almost always there. Don't change for the fucking world. You are perfect the way you are.

4. There's not really much I could say about you that I haven't already said. I love you. So much that words can't describe it. If it wasn't for you, I probably would have tried to kill myself by now. We don't really get to talk much anymore, but the times we do talk mean so much to me. Things will work out for you, my dearest friend. Life is never easy or fair, but with rain comes sun and with bad things come good. Just try to keep smiling, I'll always be here for you to help you through everything. Always and forever.

5. I don't really know what to say to you anymore. If I'll cross the line or not. In all honesty, you scare me now. You're not the same person that I met back in 2006. You've changed so much that I really don't know what the hell happened to the old you, the one I used to have so much fun with. Where did she go and what did you do with her?

6. We just recently met, but in the short time we've been talking I've become to absolutely adore you. When I first saw you I was thinking "...Fuck... My rl friends are going to call me a pedobear again." XD You're a really sweet girl and I hope you get absolutely everything you want in life and that we can continue to be friends for a long time to come.

7. Sorry I kind of bailed that day. I felt so bad for it as I was driving home because I really wanted to meet you. But there's always next time, right? ^^ You're so much fun to talk to even though I don't really know much about j-dramas, so it's pretty cool learning something new just about every time we talk. Some day we'll get to watch BEATROCK LOVE together and squee over the complete cute. <33

8. You've been through so much in the time that I've known you and yet you still manage to stay strong. I'm really amazed by you. Even when tragedy hit, you were still trying to be strong for your family. I know I would never have been able to do that, fuck I know for a fact I can't do that. You're such an amazing girl and I feel so honored to be your friend. Stay strong and keep smiling. ^^

9. We don't really talk. I think what brought me to you were your fanfics. ^^; But I read all of your journal entries and you really have a lot of shit on your plate that no one deserves to have. You seem like such a nice person, so willing to give someone everything. I'm sure that despite all of the shit that's been handed to you, that you'll be able to find perfection somewhere. Don't give up. Maybe one of these days I'll get off my lazy ass and actually comment/talk to you.

10. You probably don't remember how we met. I do, but that's a story for another time. I used to love roleplaying with you. Out of all the people I knew, you were the only one to support my OTP. And you drew some of the cutest pictures of it too! It was so nice to have a friend like you. But then some shit went down and we got mad at each other and stopped talking but I kept your lj and myspace in my friends because I hoped that one day we could be friends again. Good luck with your plans in life.

11. OMG I fucking love you so much. XD You are probably one of my favourite people in ever and I can't really explain why. You're nice(well.. to me at least! XD) and funny and you lol at my stupid jokes. Even though we've only known each other for a few short months, it feels like we've known each other for years. <333

12. You were one of my very first friends online back when my computer first became my best friend. I had felt completely and utterly alone in the world and then I met you. We had so much in common and still do and even after years of not talking, it makes me happy that we are still friends. I loved you then, and I still love you now. You'll always be one of my best friends and I never want us to stop talking again.

13. You make me want to pack my bags and high-tail it to Canada. That's really about all I have to say. XD

14. I hate you for leaving me... us. I know it more than like wasn't even your fault, but I still can't stop being mad. I miss you so much, I'm always thinking about you, if you're okay or not. If you finally managed to finish school. If you'll ever come back. The internet.. no, my life just isn't the same without you in it to get mad at me when I mention Reita with anyone but Ruki. You always had a way to make me smile and laugh and it's just.. not the same now. You had told me that if something happened, you'd be there to take me. But where are you now?

15. Once you graduated and then the next year I graduated, we kind of stopped talking. And I miss you. You were such a bitch but that was what I loved about you. As if our little group didn't have enough bitches in it already, huh? XD

16. You are my best friend, my little sister, and pretty much my everything. We've spent more-or-less all of our life together and honestly.. I wouldn't have it any other way. I want to be your best friend forever and I never want anything like college or distance to separate us, even if I can't be your personal scratching post/punching bag.

FINISHED IT! :3
~~I'll finish this after class. I really gotta jet. D:~~